Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Do Any Arab Singers Outweird Michael Jackson?

Do Any Arab Singers Outweird Michael Jackson?

With Michael Jackson back in the headlines, I found myself wondering if there is an Arabic singer who can compete with Michael Jackson’s bizarre behavior and spiritual flirtations. I found one.

Dolly Shahine, the half-Lebanese, half-Brazilian hybrid star, may be the closest.

Dolly was born and raised Catholic. According to several online sources, she abandoned the Pope, and has converted to Islam. Those sources confirm reports that she converted in order to gain legal grounds to divorce her husband. (Islam may be better for women in some ways). All she needs to do is don a burka and roll with a chimp and we’ve got MJ all over again.

However, unlike Jacko, not all Muslims are welcoming her. Unsatisfied with her racy videos, several religious Muslims are begging with her to reconsider her change of faith affiliation and revert back to Catholicism.

That’s not all; Shahine has recently held a big bash in Cairo to celebrate her divorce and the end of her bitter legal battle with her ex. Of course there was no shortage of celebrities to party.Its atmosphere probably resembled a slumber party at the Neverland ranch.

So, now Arab celebrities have wedding parties and divorce celebrations. (Now Madonna, do not get any ideas)

Dolly released a supposedly racy new song, Ana Geet (I’ve arrived). It was banned from airing on Al Njoom FM radio in Egypt because of “sexual references.” That is harsh. There’s clearly a double standard for what’s acceptable and what is objectionable in terms of male vs. female performers. Still, if I were the mudeer of Al Njoom, I would ban the song for other reasons. It suffers from both crappy production and half-baked lyrics.


Although Shahine managed to look radiant throughout the clip, the dude who stars in the video must have pulled some major wasta to get in the video. He’s busted.

Keep in mind, my issue is not entirely with the artist (art is loose term here), but rather with the director who seems too obsessed with what most men are.

Take, for starter, the start. Certain female anatomy make their debut, followed by more, as she becomes a twirling exhibit of flesh and curves. And, they stick with you throughout the clip. It is as if the story board of the video went, “butt, boobs, smile, butt, boobs, butt, boobs, smile, butt, boobs… etc.” And voila, a music video devoid of decent music was born.

More female anatomy pops out at 0:21, occupying a proportion of my screen bigger than Michael Jackson’s debt. They need to show this video on IMAX screens… muted.

The chorus, the most tolerable part of the song, goes, “He must stand up, because I’ve arrived, it is only etiquette.” I am sure something will stand up to greet her, if these racy pictures are any indication.

I think the more music videos they make, the more ridiculous they get and thus, more entertaining. I am loving this race to the abyss of idiocy. At this rate, I’ll forget my sitcoms and Comedy Central and just get my comedy fix from Arabic pop videos.

Another key difference between Jackson and Shahine is that he/it actually has/had talent.


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